Some of My Best Friends Are Fictional

Clancy entered my life three years ago and instantly became my favorite imaginary friend.  Oh, sure, we had plenty of heated discussions while collaborating on my third manuscript The Taste of Orange.  I’ll be the first one to admit that we don’t have a lot in common.  Clancy’s a scrappy thirty-two-year-old housekeeper with a peculiar interest in her five senses, and I’m a retired, straightforward, motherly figure.  Clancy has bizarre quirks and shares them with whoever will listen.  I prefer to keep my life private.  And don’t get me started on my addiction to NyQuil because she’d wake me three to four times a night with frugal cleaning tips, unique ways to torture her antagonist, ideas for a plot twist, or her incessant need to create new characters to befriend.  Follow our Taste of Orange Journey as we retell our mistakes and triumphs in an industry where only 2% of submitted manuscripts end up on the bookshelves.

Clancy goes on vacation when I experience writer’s block.  That’s when you’ll find a new post in Mitzi’s Muses.

Coming soon . . . how Clancy magically appeared and then refused to leave.

Dang.  As I reach to turn off the computer, Clancy comes to life.   Presto.  Alakaboom.

“You promised we’d work on the blog together.  Two minds are better than one,” CIancy says.  “The first paragraph makes me seem irrational.  And what’s with the last line and my refusing to leave statement?  It’s a tad snide.”

“Get out of my head.  We can make changes tomorrow,” I say, staring at the computer monitor with dry eyes.

“Why are you putting two spaces after your punctuation marks?  I thought editors prefered one.”

“Habit.  And you have no right to complain since I do all the typing.”  If I switch the radio station to rap it will silence Clancy.  But then again, she’s right about this blog belonging to both of us.  “Fine.  It’s a quick edit.”

Coming soon . . . how Clancy and Mitzi bonded like sisters.

Clancy tweets @JustClancy

SWINGING PANTIES AND BRAS IN SLINGER, WISCONSIN

My brother snapped this photo while driving through Slinger, Wisconsin. (Population 5,068) Because of the energy spent on this front yard display, I felt it was my civic duty to post this fiftieth birthday greeting to gain more exposure.

No thanks needed. I’m always happy to spread the BIRTHDAY CHEER!

Bye Bye Birdie

Max-sleeping on the warm keyboard

I like animals as much as the next person does . . . as long as they belong to someone else. However, I was fond of my brother’s parakeet, Max. You couldn’t help but love a bird that said, “Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,” with more clarity than a three-year-old human.

Today, Max flew out an open window.

 

GOD HELP ME, but after hearing the news . . . all I could picture was this

                                                                                                                                           

and then the twisted part of me saw . . .

Don’t judge me. You were thinking it, too.

Grandma Knows Best

The @JustClancy twitter side of my brain forced me to create this cartoon. Happy Easter!

 

Irish Shades of Grey

Julius Caesar’s Brother Was Abraham Lincoln

It never hurts to have well-known family connections within your chosen craft. Unfortunately, the closest my family ever came to celebrity status was by naming their children after famous dead people. My great-grandfather was Julius Caesar Labadie and he had six brothers–George Washington, Constantine the Great, Benjamin Franklin, Abraham Lincoln, Alexander the Great, and Thomas Jefferson. AWOOGA. AWOOGA. This stuff is too crazy to make up. I’m just grateful the tradition wasn’t passed down or I may very well be writing a blog under the name Martha Washington Sorensen or Cleopatra VII Thea Philopator Sorensen.

The Labadie’s were entrepreneurs, resided in gold country, Forbestown, California, but never struck it rich. On the plus side, I bet no one ever said, “Hey, you . . . what-ever-your-name-is.”

Forbestown-located in the foothills of the Sierra Mountains in California.

Without a famous family to help my status on Facebook, Twitter, and Word Press, I’m forced to make internet friends on my own. My new friends drink Starbucks coffee, listen to music, and post so many motivational messages that I wonder why they spend their day connected to Facebook.

Because the so-called experts say to include pretty pictures in postings (evidently, we’ve reverted to reading picture books) I created mock photos of The Taste of Orange book jackets. Not having a photographer in my family no longer matters with free websites like www.ribbet.com and www.superlame.com.

 Magical looking picture, but doesn’t fit the storyline.

 A bit too generic.

A reality check for those that starve themselves to look like Barbie. Go eat a cookie.

Runner-up photo because, Clancy, needs all the luck she can get. Can you spot the four-leaf clover?

Perfect. Clancy, fears lightning more than death.

I miss the days of working on my manuscript, fourteen hours straight, which brings me to the reason for posting this blog. No matter what I write in the future, the dedication page will stay the same.

P.S. I couldn’t find a four-leaf clover, either.

It’s Not About The Money

IF TRUTH BE TOLD.

Say It Like It Is!

As a child, I wondered what the magic age was when I’d know everything and stop making mistakes. Now I’m middle-aged and wonder how old I’ll be when I can say it like it is.