Mitzi: Why did you set up Twitter while I was in Chicago? https://twitter.com/JustClancy
Clancy: Why are you complaining? You should thank me. Wait a minute. How did you find out?
Mitzi: Twitter sent a warning. You’re following more people than follow you. Makes you look like spam.
Clancy: But I have diverse interests.
Mitzi: A fictional character with diverse interests belongs on Pheed. It’s the new social network. There are no restrictions like Facebook and Twitter. It’s tailored for someone like you that doesn’t like to follow rules.
Clancy: Sounds like something my protagonist, Peter Codington, would be interested in.
Mitzi: By the way, nice picture. You’ve been working out.
Clancy: You might want to try it.
Mitzi: I worked out by playing with my grandchildren.
Clancy: I popped in and out of your head while you were in Chicago. Loved Bailey and Will. Especially the three-year-old when it came to bedtime.
Mitzi: Bailey has quite the imagination. Did you know her doll, Mary, threw up in the car on our way back from my brother’s house? How do you remove doll vomit?
Clancy: According to, Bailey, the vomit was sitting on top of your head. Why did you waste your time pretending to wipe down the backseat?
Mitzi: Bailey was so descriptive that the odor made me nauseous.
Clancy: Here’s Bailey’s conversations five minutes after you tucked her in bed.
My feet are cold. I need socks.
Two minutes later: I need my blanket fixed.
One minute later: I’m too hot. I can’t take my pajamas off.
Three seconds later: I can’t pull the zipper. They shouldn’t put zippers on little kids pajamas.
One minute later: When is it midnight?
Two minutes later: Mary got out of bed. It’s not fair that she gets to stay up and I can’t.
Three minutes later: I need my door open another crack.
Five seconds later: I’m talking to myself and nobody is listening.
Two minutes later: I shut my eyes but they won’t go to sleep.
One minute later: I need to brush my teeth again.
Clancy: And the number one call out that made your daughter-in-law jump up from the couch and run toward Bailey’s bedroom—I have to go number two.
Mitzi: What else did you do while I was gone?
Clancy: Pretty much just wondered what happened to the chubby little “Bee Girl” from the Blind Melon Video.