Category Archives: Clancy’s Tips

Household Tips similar to the tips that my characters used in my book The Taste of Orange.

Maid 2 Order

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Clancy’s favorite non-cleaning tip: Scatter get-well cards across the kitchen table when you don’t have time to clean. Not only will unexpected sharp-tongued guests not complain nor spread gossip about your cleaning habits, but also they might feel sorry for you and offer to tidy-up.

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Add Olive Oil to Dishwater

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Mitzi: No, Clancy. I said to find a photo of olive oil . . . o-i-l. Not Popeye’s girlfriend.

Clancy: What did you expect? I’m a fictional character. Of course, I’m going to think Olive Oyl.

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A few drops of olive oil added to hard dishwater will help lather the soap and keep the skin from getting rough.

Clancy: My knowledge on fictional characters might come in handy.

Mitzi: How?

Clancy: For instance, did you know Barbie’s full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts and Ken’s last name is Carson? Shaggy from Scooby-Doo is Norville Rogers. Even the paper patient glued on the game Operation has a name . . . Cavity Sam. I bet you didn’t know the policeman on the Monopoly “Get out of jail free” cards is Officer Edgar Mallory.

Mitzi: Right, I’m going to write a scene about Barbara Millicent Roberts and Ken Carson listening to Norville Rogers on the television while removing Cavity Sam’s organs. Oh, no! There is something seriously wrong with me. . . I can picture the scene. Ken’s painfully trying to grip the tweezers with fingers that don’t bend when he hears a knock on the door. His arm jerks, causing the tweezers to drop into the metal opening. Cavity Sam’s nose beeps and lights up as Officer Edgar Mallory bursts into the room. With stiff plastic arms, Ken shoves Cavity Sam toward  Barbie.

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“Officer, I swear,” Ken says, “removing Cavity Sam’s ice cream shaped brain was Ms. Robert’s idea.” Barbie flicks her cigarette while staring into officer Mallory’s cardboard eyes. “So, what can I do to get one of those get out of jail free cards?”

Clancy: Why didn’t you give me a last name in The Taste of Orange?

Mitzi: You’re Clancy. Unique characters don’t need a last name.

Clancy: If I’m so special why does it matter if you find a publisher?

Mitzi: Because it will make you real. The only way I can hug you is by holding the book.

Keep Cheese Fresh

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Smear butter to the cut side of cheese to stop it from drying out. Clancy uses this tip so she can save plastic wrap for her favorite treat. She keeps ice cream from forming icky crystals by wrapping the container in plastic wrap before placing it in the freezer.

Extreme Dandruff?

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FEEL LIKE YOUR ONLY CURE FOR DANDRUFF IS THE GUILLOTINE?

Use Clancy’s home remedy to control dandruff. Crush two aspirin to a fine powder and add it to the normal amount of shampoo you use each time you wash your hair.

Seal Threads On Buttons

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Dab transparent nail polish on the center of buttons. This seals the threads so they won’t unravel. Clancy always has a supply of clear nail polish on hand. Not only does she use the polish as a liquid band-aid, but she also dips the ends of frayed shoelaces into the nail polish to make aglets.

Thread Needle With Ease

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For mending ease, rub lip gloss on your lips before moistening thread for needles. Thread slips easily into eye of the needle. No lip gloss? Clancy makes her own colored lip gloss by mixing eye shadow with vaseline. She stores her multi-colored lip gloss in a 7-day plastic pill box.

Help Santa Keep His Suit Clean

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Sprinkle a cup of salt over the logs before basking in the glow of the blazing hearth.  It’ll stop creosote from forming in your chimney.  Clancy taught this helpful tip to her employer, Mrs. Codington, and she’s never needed the services of a chimney sweeper.