Tag Archives: Run With The Orange

Enough Said . . .

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Popular Chinese Fortunes Are Fun In Bed.

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Chinese takeout isn’t my favorite, but you can’t complain when your husband offers to pick up dinner and you tell him to surprise you. It was Oscar night and even though I haven’t watched a movie in a theatre since “Pretty Woman” I listened to the Red Carpet chatter while choking down squares of pink colored meat.

“I’m not as hungry as I thought,” I said, cracking my fortune cookie while hoping my husband, Mark, believed me.

“ . . . in bed.”

I immediately started laughing. “Did you say in bed?”

“I said I’m exhausted and can’t wait to crawl in bed. Why was that funny?”

“I just finished reading my fortune when I heard you say in bed. Listen to this and add . . . in bed. A thrilling time is in your immediate future.”

“In bed.”

“I bet it works on all the Chinese fortunes. Read yours.”

“You have a friendly heart and are well admired,” Mark said, “in bed.”

“You made my night by surprising me with Chinese,” I said.

“You’re welcome. You deserved a break. You’re always burning the candle on both ends.

“It works on clichés, too. My brain will be adding “in bed” to everything.”

Mark smiled and put down his fork. “Let’s head upstairs. You’re like a kid in a candy store . . .”

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I was right. Adding “in bed” significantly improves these popular Chinese fortunes.

“Do not fear what you don’t know . . . in bed.”

“The object of your desire comes closer . . . in bed.”

“You will have a pleasant surprise . . . in bed.”

“All progress occurs because people dare to be different . . . in bed.”

“May life throw you a pleasant curve . . . in bed.”

“Don’t ask, don’t say. Everything lies in silence . . . in bed.”

“Look for new outlets for your own creative abilities . . . in bed.”

“Be prepared to accept a wondrous opportunity in the days ahead. . . in bed.”

“Fame, riches and romance are yours for the asking . . . in bed.”

“Good luck is the result of good planning . . . in bed.”

“Good things are being said about you . . . in bed.”

“Your attention to detail is both a blessing and a curse . . . in bed.”

“You will have a very pleasant experience . . . in bed.”

“Smiling often can make you look and feel younger . . . in bed.”

“The time is right to make new friends . . . in bed.”

“Generosity and perfection are your everlasting goals . . . in bed.”

“If your desires are not extravagant they will be granted . . . in bed.”

“A friend asks only for your time, not your money . . . in bed.”

“Your greatest fortune is in the large number of friends you have . . . in bed.”

“He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at . . . in bed.”

“Failure is a chance to do better next time . . . in bed.”

“In order to take, one must first give . . . in bed.”

“Love lights up the world . . . in bed.”

“Practice makes perfect . . . in bed.”

“The harder you work, the luckier you get . . . in bed.”

“Those who care will make the effort . . . in bed.”

“You are generous to an extreme and always think of the other fellow . . . in bed.”

“You have a yearning for perfection . . . in bed.”

“Your ability is appreciated . . . in bed.”

Buzzard-Picked

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Found this photo of myself while rummaging through an old steamer trunk. Snapshot gives a new meaning to the phrase “It’s all in the delivery.”